Psychotic

According to my observations for 3 semesters on several friends....communicating to my own brain seems to be a quite effective way in helping me to absorb all the facts...since absorbing facts require the full cooperation of my brain...So i shall give it a try...

Me:"Otak ar otak....tolongla i sikit...1 minggu aje kan???lepas tu u boleh la cuti..kesian owner u sikit ar..okok??"
Brain:"........."

Me:"喂，脑袋啊脑袋，帮帮忙啦。。才一个星期。。就将就一下啦。。“
Brain:" ~~无语~~”

Me：“兄弟。。拍硬档啦。。比的面好喔。。话晒都一起生活左20年啦”
Brain:"........."

Obviously...my observation is flawed...and apparently 1Malaysia concept doesnt apply to my brain....

疼你的责任

每次你任性時　說的一些話　
你知道那有多傷人嗎
但我頂多只氣個　三分鐘吧　
最後依然體貼的送你回家

有時想如果我　不是一直讓　
你也許會懂得學著體諒
但是我完全無法　硬著心腸　
做得讓你有一點難過失望

總覺得有疼你的責任　
要你是最快樂最單純的人
因為你讓我的心變得豐盛　
原來不奢望的變成可能
總覺得有疼你的責任　
讓你做最輕鬆最自然的人
我想不遮掩也是一種信任　
愛的瞭解包容才算愛得完整

握你的手

山顶的风凉的想钻进我内心
沉默是我们最近唯一的话题
看曾经亲密的爱慢慢像友谊
爱是流星　一坠落就不停
我们尝试让彼此差异能隐形
遗憾的是回避不能解决问题
当我疲倦的凝望妳憔悴表情
再不舍得　也该让你远离
握你的手坚持到最后一秒钟
哪怕爱要冰凉了　
至少让回忆是暖的
了解比爱难多了　
我们都尽力了
也许温柔是停止(再)挽留
握你的手　像耳语轻声说保重
让眼睛就算湿了　不只是痛也有感动
以前每一次挥手都为了再握手
但这一次是为了放手

a-not-emo-but-looks-and-sounds-like-emo-post..it's complicated...

have u ever had a feeling that...no one likes you...no one wants to talk to u..and u do not belong to any groups...u feel like changing(if u think it's ur fault tht ppl dislike u)..but no one's gonna tell u wat happened...and u just feel like giving up and living in ur own world??

Well...i have tht kind of feeling quite often...not recently..but most of the time...since i was in secondary skul, mebe? ppl who are close to me...or even mebe some of those who are ok-close to me..will noe...because...there's one question that i always asked...“我很讨人厌吗？”(mandarin) or “我好乞人憎吗？”(cantonese)...

anyways...if there's something i can do to set this situation right...please tell me...i would do anything just to reset everything...back to how it used to be...thx...

p/s...and i am not being emo now...more to curious than emo...coz i cant figure out wat happened...lol

不舍

我有更重要的事需要处理。。
我有更重要的事需要担心。。

虽然心头酸酸的。。
仿佛你已有了决定。。
仿佛你已准备南下。。
仿佛那“一路向北”的故事真的要发生了。。
鼻头也酸酸的。。。

可是。。我有更重要的事需要处理和担心。。
家里的事。。没人比你更清楚。。
家里的事。。你是知道的。。

只好毅然鼓励你向前。。go ahead..不是每时每刻都有勇气说出的。。

没人。。比我家人重要。。
没事。。比我家事重要。。
我不能。。无法。。因为你。。而增添家人对我的担心。。加重他们原本就不轻的负担。。
不舍。。也无可奈何。。

我答应

爸妈。。。

你们苍老了许多。。。
看着你们奔波的疲态。。手里拿着从怡保远道而来的心意。。。
心里有一股暖意涌泉而出。。
但鼻头却酸酸的。。不忍心。。让你们受苦了。。

请原谅你们这个不肖子。。

但我对你们的承诺一定会办到。。
我答应。。

everything will be fine:)

MS phobia-ing....but there will be miracle...when u believe...hahaha....
I believe, i guess...haha...so there will be miracles...fingers crossed...everything will be fine...=)

变

记得昂首迈入这座象牙塔之前。。曾经很认真地问过自己。。
到底。。自己的目标是什么。。。
自己想做一个怎么样的大学生。。。

当时的自己。。不过是一年前而已的自己。。
言之凿凿地说。。绝对不会再像以前那样。。每天没日没夜地在啃书。。
只要安分守己。。做好本分。。及格过关。。安然度过那五年就于愿足矣。。

可是一年过去了。。
自己过得好空虚。。好像所学所读所做的。。
在一个考试过后就完璧归赵。。全抛回教授那儿去了。。

朋友说。。你看起来并不如你所说那么苦恼。。就安于现状吧。。
唉。。子非鱼。焉知鱼之乐啊。。

你说：“读医科都会有这样的两难情况？”
我说：“你这是现象归纳。。想想看有多少个读医的像我那样不长进。。人家是”未见官先打三十。我是“没进大学就先说不读书。。"

是心态变了？从好胜变中庸再回归好胜？？抑或是从来都没变？还是那个好胜的自己？

不管是变。。或没变。。这种空虚的感觉和不甘的滋味。。是否意味着些事情。。那又是些什么事呢。。

routine...

sick...depressed....sick....miserable....sick....sad....sick....bla bla bla....


fingers crossed..hope things will be sorted automatically...then nonit "fan" d..haha

Pursuit of Happ"y"ness...

Christopher Gardner:"You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin' ,go get it"

Christopher Gardner: It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it.


Meaningful and touching movie....the determination portrayed....the love of a father to son....i am touched...by a movie...for the very first time in my life...

we shud really work hard in order to achieve wat we want to achieve...tht's wat we called LIFE...life is not about getting the best thing...but the process of working hard to get wat we want...be it money...health..happiness...etc etc...

P/S : will blog about the taiwan AMSC trip later...till then...adios

stupid yi rong...gong gia yi rong...ubi kayu yi rong

teach me...

tell me...

how to not care about you...

how to not be so disturbed by your things...

housemate's right...i dun own u...it's not anymore my responsibility and duty to protect you...

but..i know i will not be able to bear with the pain if i see you get hurt again...

i just wanna protect u..even though it's no longer my job...

stupid me...stupid me...

事情

事情。。
知道得越多。。
越生气。。

气。。
他无耻。。
你无知。。
我什么都没做。。

你给我记住。。
没错。。
说的就是你。。
如果你有看这篇部落格的话。。
后备胎
不是每个人都能当的。。
不是每个人都适合当的。。
不是每个人都必须当的。。
你没资格。。没权利让别人当另一个人的后备胎。。
她没义务。。。
你给我放小心点。。
不要惹我....

曾经的你。。
瞪大眼睛看清楚。。
知道吗。。
别伤害到自己。。
别再让人伤害到你。。
记得。。

不要惹我

不爽中。。。

你给我好好做人。。好自为之。。如果给我发现你有什么“行差踏错”。。我不会给你好过。。

你敢。。

try me...i dare you...不要惹我。。

我是坏人。。。

那一扇车门
关出我们的裂痕
一声就震断了回头的路程

爱无法均分
以后就留给你们
也许用伤害结束爱才更动人

容忍的人其实并不笨
只是宁可对自己残忍
既然爱不能恒温
祝福就给你下一个人

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍

我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

三个人从不对等
总有个人必须牺牲
那永恒就等他带你完成

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍
我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

recent life...

30/6/09

Went to HUKM for some vital signs and first aid lessons....interesting session...hope tht there will be more of these sessions in the future...hahaha..better than memorising metabolisms and erythropoiesis...



Robert Ng...lol...



With Hau wei...he always scold me for not spelling his name right...but i still havent insaf...haha..i am not sure whether i spelled it correctly...



elbow immobilised by figure of 8 bandaging done by mr robert...lol...

2/7/09

They are going to HUKM together today...ok..stop thinking about nonsense..stupid la...i shudnt be like tht...haiz....STOP!!!!!!!!dun think...dun think...smile...happy..:)

习惯了吗？

见到他。。对。。他。。不是她。。


如预料般。。刻意回避着他的眼神。。

好像我对不起他似的回避闪缩。。

回忆。。也如预期般。。在我的心里慢慢地。。折磨地。。划上一道又一道的伤痕。。

心酸。。让我的心紧紧揪着。。但安慰的是。。这感觉。。不持久。。

是她在我的心目中的地位在剧降。。还是我已习惯了心酸的日子呢？？

update..

too many chinese posts d la...cannot like tht 1..ppl who have not been reading my rojak english for so long sure not song d...hahaha


nthg much to say oso le...just...2nd year's starting soon and i am packing now...wish me luck guys...

i am going to revive the long lost F6 yi rong...fingers crossed...haha

矛盾

曾经的你：

谢谢你给的温柔。。
谢谢你给的问候。。

我。。开心却也痛心。。


别被我的生活情绪影响你好吗？？
别让我写的东西打乱你的脚步好吗？

好好生活好吗？？当作是为我。。好吗？

矛盾的我上

journal..

你一直要看的。。

狠下心的我终于撕碎，烧了。。

我怀念的。。

我怀念的。。很多。。

但。。

怀念的事物。。

已死去。。失去。。逝去。。

怀念。。没意义。。没意思了。。

还能做什么。。


我怀念我的自信。。

我怀念我自己。。

我怀念我的心

笑。。恨。。

不能恨。。不能。。
坚持。。。
坚持到底。。

继续笑。。

开始懂了

开始懂了。。。快乐是选择。。

真的懂了？

黑色第三天。。左右为难

左手写他
右手写着爱
紧握的双手
模糊的悲哀
我的决定
会有怎样的伤害
面对着爱人和朋友
那一个我该放开
一边是友情
一边是爱情
左右都不是
为难了自己
是为你想吧
该为她想吧
爱虽然已不可自拔
装作不在意的你
如何面对
右手写爱
左手写着他
摊开的双手
空虚的无奈
我的诺言
有最深沉的感慨
最亲的朋友和女孩
我的心一直在摇摆
你比我适合她
她是你梦想的爱
你幸福我开心
给你让你爱她去吧

第二天。。。修饰

戴上面具。。嬉皮笑脸。。
原来我功力深厚。。

open arms...heaven knows...我爱你。。
动人的旋律。。熟悉的回忆。。
你我的歌曲。。往昔不再。。

我听见有人叫你宝贝。。枫。。
更贴近心里。。

第一天

才第一天。。好难熬。。。

要坚持下去。。。

别让她顾虑。。。

开心。。要开心。。

：）

残酷的一天

知道了

morse

.. / -- .. ... ... / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / .... --- .-- / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / -. --- .--


can u read tis??? hope u can...

Max...

Introduce to u....dang dang dang dang.....the great golden retriever....Mr Max!!!!!lolxxx...Age: 8 weeks...IC: 09XXXX-XX-XXXX...name: Max...my new family member..haha...

Max:"hihi..nice to meet you...pls do take good care of my leng zai kenny owner oh..coz he is so leng zai!!!thx" hahaha...

Pray

my bro is doing lumbar puncture tis morning....hope he will be ok...

he was admitted to the emergency ward yesterday and i was there the whole day..witnessed how "fast" the staff there work...

reached home at around 12 something...and had my dinunch (suppose if there is brunch...there shud be dinunch as well)..lolx..

Bro...you will be ok...u will be...get well soon k? watch MU vs Arsenal and argue with me which team's better k....

Memories...Sweet or bitter...

Was clearing some disk space for more movie downloads and found some photos of my hong kong trip dated back a year ago....I tot i lost them....It was a nice trip with my mum...though I went there for an interview and not for vacation or makan angin..I enjoyed the trip very much...

















I used to be cheerful and happy...what had changed??or should i say...wat made me changed...i dun like the me now...everyday having palpitations...cant help recalling and thinking of the things i dun wanna think of..at least not for this critical moment..a single trigger that remind me of her would make me collapse the whole day..."try to let go and be friends with her"..a voice deep down my heart whispered to me...

I understand every single advice from u all..my dear frens...and i just want you to know tht i am trying very hard..really very hard...i might look okay from outside..but sorry guys..i am not...i just need more time i guess...ya...dun worry..i am sure I WILL BE OKAY!!!:)

揪心

今天

心揪得紧紧的。。

他说。。你最近很开心。。

放开吧。。是这样告诉自己的。。她找到幸福就祝福她吧。。。

可是。。心揪得紧紧的。。

I dont belong here. do i?

I dont't belong here..do i?

When everything's not looking good...

CSL is lousy...

High probability of failing INFECTION AND IMMUNITY...

Made many..and i really mean MANY costly careless mistakes in METABOLISM..

Cant see any hopes in the following papers...

I just simply dont belong here, do I?

I want to be a doctor so badly...but the interest and power of will are not enough to see me through this...

Am i going to walk through this...is this a test to me?if it really is..then i might be failing it tis time...

haiz

once a dream

Out of sight...out of mind...come on...you can make it!!!

friend:" she was just a sweet dream after all...that turned out to be a nightmare"..

nope..i wouldnt say tht...happy but not happy enough to keep it going...just tht simple..

she is not a nightmare..

study week's coming to an end...signifies the start of the disastrous exam week(s)...i will give my best..and will go into 2nd year without having to reseat for any paper....TRUST MYSELF!!!!!!(fingers crossed)lolx...

有一点动心

still remember tis song...during UMS trip...in the bus...

我和你 男和女 都逃不过爱情
谁愿意 有勇气 不顾一切付出真心
你说的 不只你 还包括我自己
该不该再继续 该不该有回忆 让爱一步一步靠近
我对你有一点动心
却如此害怕看你的眼睛
有那么一点点动心 一点点迟疑
不敢相信我的情不自禁
我对你有一点动心
不知结果是悲伤还是喜
有那么一点点动心 一点点迟疑
害怕爱过以后还要失去
难以抗拒 OH
人最怕就是动了情
虽然不想不看也不听
却陷入爱里
我和你 男和女 都逃不过爱情

HUKM CSL

I AM LOUSY HISTORY TAKER....

semangat

come on....another 4 yrs....AZA AZA....GO GO GO!!!!

I WILL ACHIEVE MY DREAMS AND GOALS WITHOUT FAIL!!!!

FIGHTING SPIRIT !!!!!!!

update...

mum...glad that u are ok...i will go back to see u as soon as possible:)

everything's still ok...except that i got sick last night...vomitting...and migraine...

adverse effect of loneliness??
nope...

getting thru the hard time...with u guys with me...thx..

Crapppppppp............

260 pumpings in 2 days...first day 150...tonight...110...gawd...my hand's going to break d...if there's a test called straight arm raise...then my arm sure cant lift over 30 degrees..maybe not even 15...haiz...should i play basketball anymore??lolxxxx....

Went to KLCC's subway...to have dinner and study there...the environment's not bad...but the problem is...i spent 1 and a half hours travelling...coz the rapid kl is not rapid..it's RABBIT....OMG....haiz...but still managed to finish 2 lecture notes and 1 SLP...which is already a great success to me...muahahahhahaha....

anyways...recent life's quite dull...but able to find an apartment which suits my taste....still quite happy geh...haha...

Useless

i am useless...why do i study medicine if i cant help my own mum????

Mum,get well soon...go get an X ray...

Sorry mum...i dunno wat's the reason tht cause u to suffer....

sorry...ur son is useless...

WEEKENDS COMING..

AIDS EXHIBITION....here i come!!!!!

MUM's BIRTHDAY....here i come!!!!!

HM lecture and attendance....here i come!!!! i wouldnt wanna run to campus from hostel in 15 minutes anymore....if like tht, i might as well take part in AMAZING RACE..at least AR got prize...1 million ehhhh!!!!lolx

wateva

wateva tht comes to me...i accept..

whose fault is it?

so...tis incident happened last night...when i was on the monorail...from kl sentral to titiwangsa...terminal to terminal...long journey...and there was when i witnessed something tht worth sharing with u all...

it was at the Tun Sambanthan station when the incident took place....i was sitting at one end of the monorail (next to the driver seat)...and a white man sitting at the other....then suddenly i heard someone yelling.."..............TITIWANGSA LAKE?" imagine how loud the man's voice was...tht i can hear it from the other end...then after the shout...no one answered him...(i guess he was asking about the direction to titiwangsa lake...and ppl who took monorail before will noe...titiwangsa is stations away from tun sambanthan)...so i stood up...wanted to go ask him wat can i help him...however............

before i managed to reach him...he stood up...yelled again...tis time not asking for direction...but to curse ppl around him " !@#@%^$@&*(((*$&&$&*#*@!....NASTY FELLA!!!!"..then he went off the monorail...slammed something into the dustbin...and went down the stairs...just as i thought everything was over...the white guy reappeared...he slammed at the monorail's windows and doors....and then ran off...then the ppl started chatting "apa sal??"..."entah...tak tau ape dia cakap pun"

well...after that...the whole journey i felt bad..for not being able to help him...i felt sorry...because malaysians are not well versed with english....i felt sad...coz our country's ppl couldnt even understand it when ppl was throwing vulgar words and nasty words at them...how pathetic...but..was tht the right way to express anger??slamming at doors and windows??

guess...cant tell who's right and who's wrong...it's up to us to decide...to judge...

Childish

just to check in and say...I AM STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............DUN LIKE MICROBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok...after yelling....feels better d...childish me....

nothing to share recently...coz nothing special...haha...mebe...when i am in the mood of writing...and typing...then ony i share something wit u guys la...

till next time....adios :)

random

I am who i am....

UMS Post Conference..SABAH trip

Went to sabah several days ago...it was a 4 days 3 nights trip..it was fun...and great to know many new frens from different unis...for the rest of this post..the photos will do the talking...blekh:)












Photos taken during clinical booths at Kampung Pasir Puteh....It was REALLY AWESOME!!!!



Camwhored in the apartment room..before leaving for the visit to Hospital Likas..:p

2nd Day of 2009....Funny Bunny day

i din post on the first day of new year...coz everyone's posting on 1st of jan...in order to memper-special-kan myself....i decided to post on the 2nd day of year 2009 instead of the first...kakaka...no ler..it's just an excuse for my laziness...blekh...

i just came bek from D414..where i heard something ridiculous....just as i stepped into mr kelvin's room...he straight away said that he's going to call me by bunny chiew for the rest of his life...BUNNY CHIEW????!!!!!WTH???!!!!! Of all animals...he wanna call me bunny...sounds weird....it's even weirder if u imagine me acting like bugs bunny....





Any resemblance, ppl??ok...the teeth maybe..other than that...any parts of mine that resembles bugs bunny SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH until i am being called BUNNY CHIEW???!!!!!NO right???ok...i am going to destroy D414...right away....lolx