finally...update (thx hau wei and juin yi)

Flipping through Snell's clinical neuroanatomy, but it's not about neuroscience that i am thinking about...but there are other things playing in my mind...things that had happened since the past few weeks...things that i would not like to remember..and also things that i would like to treasure and cherish for the rest of my life...

Things that i would not like to remember...of coz..not something happy and i dun think i wanna mention it here..just hope that things will pass and everything will be fine after a good night sleep and i'm sure it will be a brand new day the moment i open my eyes the next morning...

At least there are some blissful moments at this rough and hectic life...i was part of EAMSC...part of awesome group 15...EAMSC is definitely a great experience which has provided me with a runaway from the reality...to escape from things tht i would not wan to face at least for a week...i got to know so many friends from different countries...michi and akkun from japan, apple from the philipines, jenny and paew from thailand, wee sian and alana from australia, choi and hannah from korea, yusuf and diyanti from indonesia, michelle and kevin from hong kong,preston and gordon from taiwan,wai hong and jun kit from malaysia....i miss you all!!!As a GM...it's a totally different experience from being a delegate...i get to know how to moderate a group...and i am really thankful to be in EAMSC...

AMSA Malaysia..an association which provides me with many opportunities...i am thankful...of coz..there are times that i am not satisfied with the ppl in the association...disappointed with the systems...but..thx hau wei and juin yi and all my frens in the current board...i understand wat u said...and at anytime..when u guys need my help for anything...just let me know...i might not manage to complete the task as good as u guys are...but i will try my best to help...

Psychotic

According to my observations for 3 semesters on several friends....communicating to my own brain seems to be a quite effective way in helping me to absorb all the facts...since absorbing facts require the full cooperation of my brain...So i shall give it a try...

Me:"Otak ar otak....tolongla i sikit...1 minggu aje kan???lepas tu u boleh la cuti..kesian owner u sikit ar..okok??"
Brain:"........."

Me:"喂，脑袋啊脑袋，帮帮忙啦。。才一个星期。。就将就一下啦。。“
Brain:" ~~无语~~”

Me：“兄弟。。拍硬档啦。。比的面好喔。。话晒都一起生活左20年啦”
Brain:"........."

Obviously...my observation is flawed...and apparently 1Malaysia concept doesnt apply to my brain....

疼你的责任

每次你任性時　說的一些話　
你知道那有多傷人嗎
但我頂多只氣個　三分鐘吧　
最後依然體貼的送你回家

有時想如果我　不是一直讓　
你也許會懂得學著體諒
但是我完全無法　硬著心腸　
做得讓你有一點難過失望

總覺得有疼你的責任　
要你是最快樂最單純的人
因為你讓我的心變得豐盛　
原來不奢望的變成可能
總覺得有疼你的責任　
讓你做最輕鬆最自然的人
我想不遮掩也是一種信任　
愛的瞭解包容才算愛得完整

握你的手

山顶的风凉的想钻进我内心
沉默是我们最近唯一的话题
看曾经亲密的爱慢慢像友谊
爱是流星　一坠落就不停
我们尝试让彼此差异能隐形
遗憾的是回避不能解决问题
当我疲倦的凝望妳憔悴表情
再不舍得　也该让你远离
握你的手坚持到最后一秒钟
哪怕爱要冰凉了　
至少让回忆是暖的
了解比爱难多了　
我们都尽力了
也许温柔是停止(再)挽留
握你的手　像耳语轻声说保重
让眼睛就算湿了　不只是痛也有感动
以前每一次挥手都为了再握手
但这一次是为了放手

a-not-emo-but-looks-and-sounds-like-emo-post..it's complicated...

have u ever had a feeling that...no one likes you...no one wants to talk to u..and u do not belong to any groups...u feel like changing(if u think it's ur fault tht ppl dislike u)..but no one's gonna tell u wat happened...and u just feel like giving up and living in ur own world??

Well...i have tht kind of feeling quite often...not recently..but most of the time...since i was in secondary skul, mebe? ppl who are close to me...or even mebe some of those who are ok-close to me..will noe...because...there's one question that i always asked...“我很讨人厌吗？”(mandarin) or “我好乞人憎吗？”(cantonese)...

anyways...if there's something i can do to set this situation right...please tell me...i would do anything just to reset everything...back to how it used to be...thx...

p/s...and i am not being emo now...more to curious than emo...coz i cant figure out wat happened...lol

不舍

我有更重要的事需要处理。。
我有更重要的事需要担心。。

虽然心头酸酸的。。
仿佛你已有了决定。。
仿佛你已准备南下。。
仿佛那“一路向北”的故事真的要发生了。。
鼻头也酸酸的。。。

可是。。我有更重要的事需要处理和担心。。
家里的事。。没人比你更清楚。。
家里的事。。你是知道的。。

只好毅然鼓励你向前。。go ahead..不是每时每刻都有勇气说出的。。

没人。。比我家人重要。。
没事。。比我家事重要。。
我不能。。无法。。因为你。。而增添家人对我的担心。。加重他们原本就不轻的负担。。
不舍。。也无可奈何。。

我答应

爸妈。。。

你们苍老了许多。。。
看着你们奔波的疲态。。手里拿着从怡保远道而来的心意。。。
心里有一股暖意涌泉而出。。
但鼻头却酸酸的。。不忍心。。让你们受苦了。。

请原谅你们这个不肖子。。

但我对你们的承诺一定会办到。。
我答应。。

everything will be fine:)

MS phobia-ing....but there will be miracle...when u believe...hahaha....
I believe, i guess...haha...so there will be miracles...fingers crossed...everything will be fine...=)

变

记得昂首迈入这座象牙塔之前。。曾经很认真地问过自己。。
到底。。自己的目标是什么。。。
自己想做一个怎么样的大学生。。。

当时的自己。。不过是一年前而已的自己。。
言之凿凿地说。。绝对不会再像以前那样。。每天没日没夜地在啃书。。
只要安分守己。。做好本分。。及格过关。。安然度过那五年就于愿足矣。。

可是一年过去了。。
自己过得好空虚。。好像所学所读所做的。。
在一个考试过后就完璧归赵。。全抛回教授那儿去了。。

朋友说。。你看起来并不如你所说那么苦恼。。就安于现状吧。。
唉。。子非鱼。焉知鱼之乐啊。。

你说：“读医科都会有这样的两难情况？”
我说：“你这是现象归纳。。想想看有多少个读医的像我那样不长进。。人家是”未见官先打三十。我是“没进大学就先说不读书。。"

是心态变了？从好胜变中庸再回归好胜？？抑或是从来都没变？还是那个好胜的自己？

不管是变。。或没变。。这种空虚的感觉和不甘的滋味。。是否意味着些事情。。那又是些什么事呢。。

routine...

sick...depressed....sick....miserable....sick....sad....sick....bla bla bla....


fingers crossed..hope things will be sorted automatically...then nonit "fan" d..haha

Pursuit of Happ"y"ness...

Christopher Gardner:"You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin' ,go get it"

Christopher Gardner: It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it.


Meaningful and touching movie....the determination portrayed....the love of a father to son....i am touched...by a movie...for the very first time in my life...

we shud really work hard in order to achieve wat we want to achieve...tht's wat we called LIFE...life is not about getting the best thing...but the process of working hard to get wat we want...be it money...health..happiness...etc etc...

P/S : will blog about the taiwan AMSC trip later...till then...adios

stupid yi rong...gong gia yi rong...ubi kayu yi rong

teach me...

tell me...

how to not care about you...

how to not be so disturbed by your things...

housemate's right...i dun own u...it's not anymore my responsibility and duty to protect you...

but..i know i will not be able to bear with the pain if i see you get hurt again...

i just wanna protect u..even though it's no longer my job...

stupid me...stupid me...

事情

事情。。
知道得越多。。
越生气。。

气。。
他无耻。。
你无知。。
我什么都没做。。

你给我记住。。
没错。。
说的就是你。。
如果你有看这篇部落格的话。。
后备胎
不是每个人都能当的。。
不是每个人都适合当的。。
不是每个人都必须当的。。
你没资格。。没权利让别人当另一个人的后备胎。。
她没义务。。。
你给我放小心点。。
不要惹我....

曾经的你。。
瞪大眼睛看清楚。。
知道吗。。
别伤害到自己。。
别再让人伤害到你。。
记得。。

不要惹我

不爽中。。。

你给我好好做人。。好自为之。。如果给我发现你有什么“行差踏错”。。我不会给你好过。。

你敢。。

try me...i dare you...不要惹我。。

我是坏人。。。

那一扇车门
关出我们的裂痕
一声就震断了回头的路程

爱无法均分
以后就留给你们
也许用伤害结束爱才更动人

容忍的人其实并不笨
只是宁可对自己残忍
既然爱不能恒温
祝福就给你下一个人

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍

我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

三个人从不对等
总有个人必须牺牲
那永恒就等他带你完成

你是好人也是个坏人
对我坦承只为了朝他狂奔
不能放任所以放了
这点痛我还能忍
我是好人也是个坏人
分得够狠你才有借口转身
宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

宁愿爱一点不剩
也不忍看恋人爱成路人

recent life...

30/6/09

Went to HUKM for some vital signs and first aid lessons....interesting session...hope tht there will be more of these sessions in the future...hahaha..better than memorising metabolisms and erythropoiesis...



Robert Ng...lol...



With Hau wei...he always scold me for not spelling his name right...but i still havent insaf...haha..i am not sure whether i spelled it correctly...



elbow immobilised by figure of 8 bandaging done by mr robert...lol...

2/7/09

They are going to HUKM together today...ok..stop thinking about nonsense..stupid la...i shudnt be like tht...haiz....STOP!!!!!!!!dun think...dun think...smile...happy..:)

习惯了吗？

见到他。。对。。他。。不是她。。


如预料般。。刻意回避着他的眼神。。

好像我对不起他似的回避闪缩。。

回忆。。也如预期般。。在我的心里慢慢地。。折磨地。。划上一道又一道的伤痕。。

心酸。。让我的心紧紧揪着。。但安慰的是。。这感觉。。不持久。。

是她在我的心目中的地位在剧降。。还是我已习惯了心酸的日子呢？？

update..

too many chinese posts d la...cannot like tht 1..ppl who have not been reading my rojak english for so long sure not song d...hahaha


nthg much to say oso le...just...2nd year's starting soon and i am packing now...wish me luck guys...

i am going to revive the long lost F6 yi rong...fingers crossed...haha

矛盾

曾经的你：

谢谢你给的温柔。。
谢谢你给的问候。。

我。。开心却也痛心。。


别被我的生活情绪影响你好吗？？
别让我写的东西打乱你的脚步好吗？

好好生活好吗？？当作是为我。。好吗？

矛盾的我上

journal..

你一直要看的。。

狠下心的我终于撕碎，烧了。。